Wednesday, 3 June 2009

HOT SPACE LESBIANS...

A while back Marvel decided it would give a big push to it's cosmic characters in an attempt to revitalise some titles and characters that had fallen by the wayside in recent years. So we got the awesome Annihilation event followed a bunch of sequels events like Annihilation:Conquest. It did just what was promised, restoring Marvel's cosmic line back to it's former glory.

It even got some old beloved titles back on the stands like Silver Surfer, Nova and my one true cosmic love Guardian of the Galaxy. Most shocking of all though was the return of a Quasar title.

Now don't get me wrong, I loved the Quasar series back in the late 80s/early 90s but let's not kid ourselves. Quasar was never cool.

I mean he had the Farrah Fawcett haircut, a taste for giant gold bracelets and a somewhat odd relationship with a giant floating, inter dimensional half-super-hero-head/half-rotting-vegetable creature that lived in his closet at work.

I mean his name was Wendell for crying out loud!

It's a title that was born to lose from it's inception. How does anyone revitalise that?

Enter Christos Gage. He took up the unenviable task of bringing a new, cool and successful Quasar title back to masses. Luckily Christos came up with a perfect solution to the title's Wendell problem.

It's quite simple really. Kick him and his 80s hair to the curb and replace his sorry ass with HOT SPACE LESBIANS!
Whitt Whooo!

That's right people HOT SPACE LESBIANS. Those three words alone will send every Danger Girl/Fathom fan out there rushing to the stands to pick up the book.

That's not enough though. For a mainstream super-hero book to survive you've got to get in good with your hardcore fanbase. Winning over the hardcore Marvel fans isn't as easy as slapping them in the face with HOT SPACE LESBIANS. Those lesbians have got to tie in to past Marvel continuity or that's the ballgame.

Again Christos is way ahead of us.

One of the HOT SPACE LESBIANS in question is the estranged daughter of the original Captain Marvel. She's the semi-crazy, all round foxy and brand spanking new Protector of the Universe Phyla-Vell!

The other is a second string cosmic Marvel stalwart, and the Marvel Universe's foremost hot, bald chick - Moondragon. She's an ex-member of Warlock's Infinity Watch, a former planetary dictator and she once scored with the Mighty Thor!

How's about that?

Just in case there are some folks out there who never read Warlock & The Infinity Watch (as if), Captain Marvel or those Avengers issues where Moondragon conquers a planet and makes out with Thor, Mr Gage figured he'd sweeten the pot a little. So he randomly tossed in a classic Marvel villain that no fan could fail to love.
It's the Super freaking Adaptoid baby!

Ah that dude's as good today as he was lo those many years ago. They just don't make awesome, super-power duplicating, robotic villains like they used to!

So that's the Brian Pulido demographic and the hardcore Marvel continuity freaks all cinched up. Job's a good 'un.

But wait. There's more? You bet there is.

For Christos Gage so loved the comics that he took his only begotten Quasar book and added a little pinch of awesome.

Question: What's more awesome than having a HOT SPACE LESBIAN suddenly and inexplicably turn into a huge, honking dragon?
Answer: Nothing.

Are you clued in yet people? The new Quasar is awesome with a capital 'A'.

Christos Gage's Annihilation:Conquest Quasar mini-series was my favorite one of the Conquest books. Even though Starlord had Mantis (gasp!),Rocket Raccoon (GASP!) and Groot (HOLY SOCKS!) and Wraith hinted at possible ROM:Spaceknight related revelation. ROM:Spaceknight people, that is ten different kinds of awesome! Despite all that good stuff Quasar still outshone the rest.

It's got everything a growing boy needs. It's got Phyla and Heather fighting the Brood, some Phalanx, the aforementioned and thoroughly fantastic Super-Adaptoid. It's got giant swords and maces made of cosmic energy, origin-recapping, same-sex romance, psychic freak-outs and carbon-based life form assimilation.

Put your Quasar reservations aside and hunt this mini-series down. There's not a dude named Wendell or a floating cosmic vegetable in sight - I promise.

I could happily gush about these books all day long but I gotta go and check my how much I bumped my Google hits by repeatedly using the phrase HOT SPACE LESBIANS.

See you next time.
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